Cancer Sucks

UGGGHHH!!!! Today is just NOT my day. I had written a very long blog already and when I went to post it, the page wouldn't come up, and the whole thing was deleted!!! Well, let me try to remember and start over...Yesterday I got to visit with my cousins who just got back from Florida. I was a little mad because not only was I supossed to be down there with them, but they were all soooo nice and tan making me appear to be seethrough. But it was fun. You never appreciate peace and quiet so much after leave there! Haha! I may have even talked my cousin into teaching me to play the drums... a new hospital project. And if all goes right, they will have me out of the hospital ASAP, if you get what I mean! haha. So after I came home I helped Lizard with a school project she is doing on me and my cancer. So we worked on her speech and then made a collage for her visual aid. It is so cute! It has pictures from the time we were little up until my last stay in the hospital. It is similar to the ones that I will have at my beef and beer... maybe we will even steal that one for the night. So I had fun last night and got to do some crafty stuff. Today, however, I woke up and had to go down to the doctors office cause there was nasty white stuff in my Hickman (the port in my chest where i get my chemo and other meds). And when I got there, I noticed that the entire line was pulled out of my chest and hung to about my waste. So OF COURSE, not only did I not get to go to class with Liz for her presentation, I had to drive all the way up to Cooper. (the only benefit being I got to see my love). So when we got there they had to put a whole new Hickman in. And as usualy they try to sedate me, but i have become so immune to the pain meds, that they dont even touch me. So I felt every stick, pinch, pull, poke... you name it they did it. And when they were all finished I expected at least a little something to take the edge off... but NOPE! I was simply sent home empty handed. So needless to say I am MISERABLE, in pain, and hating cancer more than ever. And tomorrow I have to go all the way back up for another doctors appointment. UGH!! But enoguh of that. Later this week I am going to my Dad's. Ill get to meet all the guys and hang out in the city. It should be fun and I'm really looking forward to it. And then on the 16th is my beef and beer. I am really looking forward to that because although my name is on the ticket, ther ewill be MANY guests of honor there. Some who I cant wait to see again, and some who I will FINALLY be meeting for the first time. So, now that I am done feeling sorry for myself (i think we should all get one of those days, even if you dont have cacner), maybe I'll go take a nap until my boys play tonight. And hopefully we will reclaim our title!!! And it will give me a reason to go up to the city tomorrow in blue and white. So please remember the prayers... Jess, Randy, Richter and Ruark families, Mullhollands... and me too!!! thanks so much...CANCER SUCK